Anchoring Attention

6 minute read

I have sat down to write this piece about focus several times since December. I have had a multitude of false starts where I set off typing at pace, spilling my thoughts sort of aimlessly onto the page. I have also made notes in the notes app on my phone while out and about and scribbled on pages at my desk that I look at now and am entirely unsure as to what I meant by them. I don’t see where they fit. But fit they did, on that day, at that time, when I was chasing down a particular strand of thought.

The irony.

As time passed and my distracted, overloaded and granted, badly managed brain, missed each self-imposed deadline, I am, at last here typing this now. But so far today, I have segued from my desktop where I began, to my laptop at the kitchen table, to where I am now - typing into my phone as I sit on my bed whilst listening to a meditative soundscape on the Calm app to help drown out distraction and zone in.

Throughout all that too, I have also gotten up to make and eat two meals, put on laundry, and harangue my kids into doing their chores. All chains of thought are broken, to be re-connected when I sit at a screen next.

Flow state - that continuous, almost mythical creative concentration used to come easily and quickly to me allowing me to write and think and strategise effectively, but I haven’t been able to access it for ages now.

And I hate it. I hate feeling that I can’t access the still space of my thinking brain as I used to. There is a phrase used when learning to meditate about calming the Monkey Mind - the chattering, clattering thoughts - the ever-present white noise. I am learning to do that quite well by focusing on my breath and letting the randomania of my brain flow around me like clouds. I am becoming good at zoning out. However, when it comes to focusing IN, I am failing.

And the thing is, we all are, apparently. I have been reading a lot about focus and how our brains are in the process of being entirely hacked and re-wired. Our attention spans have been abused by social media, now only accepting bite-sized yet over-loaded information dumps. Short-form but over-stimulating. Anything longer than a minute, they say, is too much for us to stick to. Our brains are collectively breaking down. Ceasing to function as designed, and I worry for us.

I am in the throes of perimenopause and despite my HRT, I still am forgetful and foggy of mind. I have become more accepting of that cognitive mode now, but what lies ahead for our kids? Will their delicate brains just muddle along, morphing into this societally enforced hyper-speed? Is deep thought over? What about critical thinking? Is this evolution, cognitively speaking? It can’t be good. I worry.

How sad it is that how we spend our time has been completely manipulated by tech companies determined to deliver as much ‘content’ to us as we can handle. Or more than we can handle. So that what? So that we stay there, subsumed and submissive, basically.

Maybe we buy something after following these invisible internet threads, or maybe we don’t, but our eyeballs - our attention and interests - are being manipulated and tracked. We are being sold to with every split second that goes by, and the time we spend, more so than the money, is the commodity. The saying goes, if you’re not paying for a product, you are the product. Yep, we are for sale. In fact, no, we were sold long ago.

And we are also addicted. In January, I consciously tried to reduce my social media use. My personal life was chaotic and exhausting and I could actually feel a pain in my brain at the end of each day. I knew I needed a detox. Everyone on social said similar. Again, the irony.

I read Annie MacManus’ brilliant article on her quest for freedom - using the Freedom app to block her online usage and make her more productive (more irony, right!). She, as I did, succeeded a bit, but only for a while. You miss the thing you always do. We have no idea how habituated we are. How under control.

I find myself picking up my phone endlessly through the day. For nothing much. For that flicking, scrolling, open and close freneticism that comes from the constant rotation and checking of apps.

It goes like this…

Instagram (because I basically live there) - Twitter (for breaking news and unhealthily chasing bad news) Irish Times (for real news) - The Guardian (yet more news) the Weather app (don’t know why) - emails (all accounts) - Facebook (not interested but still do it) - LinkedIn (makes me feel crap about myself) and I top it all off with a look at Pinterest for the beautiful things and lifestyle I want but don’t have (let’s say I’m manifesting)…before I put down my phone only to pick it up again 20 minutes later once I’ve gotten overwhelmed (or bored) with some other tasks I should be legitimately doing at the time.

It’s exhausting. No wonder my head hurts at the end of the day. And no wonder sustained focus feels unattainable - it’s like a sort of mental whack a mole.

I have also read some of Johann Hari’s book, Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention, which is a fascinating insight into what’s going on in our attention spans. This is a great segment from The Guardian, which mentions the fact that according to a notable neuroscientist, we are losing time due to the ‘switch cost effect’ which quantifies the time it takes for us to re-focus when we keep flicking between micro activities. The brain tries to seamlessly transition from work tasks to answering a text to looking at social media, but it doesn’t, in fact, manage it very well, meaning we have to almost go back and revert to where we began. We don’t reconnect and move on, we have to cognitively reverse.

Pair all of this neurological knowledge with the awareness that tech companies such as Google and all social media giants hire teams and teams of human behaviour scientists and psychologists in order to make products that addict us. And it’s working out great - for them. We just can’t pay attention anymore. And when we do, it’s really challenging and causes a fair share of psychological and mental stress.

So, what can we do?

We each need to reclaim our behaviours, yes, but this is only a drop in the ocean really. The change required is systemic, and like all things that are truly threatening human welfare, they are bigger than just the individual response. In essence, if tech wasn’t designed to significantly hijack us, if it was designed to add to our lives and keep our own agency where it belongs - within us - then fine. Alas, it’s the opposite. It’s designed to attract, distract and ultimately deplete.

But we must start somewhere. If we can reclaim our attention and make better boundaries as to how and when we interact with tech products and social media, just as it is so with all relationships, things can get better.

Here are some ideas I’m trying:

Read novels

Go long-form. Get engrossed. Book in time at your weekend, or an hour before bed to sit quietly and read. I devour psychology and self-help books all the time, but even they have become bite-size social media style. I think novels - something with creativity and imagination - might be better. Humans need stories with beginnings, middles and ends. We need emotional arcs, plot twists, mystery and fantasy with characters being developed over time. Storytelling is how we learn.

Prioritise and go slow

Muddled brains breed chaos. Make lists. But then, what’s key is to DO THE THINGS ON THE LIST. I am a great planner - an absolute ideas person - ask me to activate them? Not so hot. I’m learning to work off realistic lists made to achieve realistic goals. Especially for this, my business. Heyday is about slow, considered content. I’m not interested in the big media rat race, I was there before, I created content at warp speed to beat algorithms and attain the holy grail of visibility. Eyeballs over all. However, I care not for it now. Heyday is about slow media and a calm business model. So, yes, at almost 47, I am only now learning to cherish the slow lane and love lists. They didn’t teach productivity or creativity in school. They should.

Edit your feed

You are responsible for what you follow. Go through your follower lists and edit, edit, edit. Make it good, inspiring, uplifting and interesting. Be a good gatekeeper for your mind and only allow quality content to reach you. You deserve only the best. Ditch the dross. Cut the crap - you’ll feel so much clearer.

Listen to classical music

Just try it. It does good things to your brainwaves. Mozart especially. Trust me.

Or sit in silence

A lot of people are afraid of their own thoughts, always drowning them out with inane radio chat or music they don’t like. There is so much noise everywhere. See what happens if you keep a quiet house for an afternoon. Feel your mood settle.

Go somewhere else

Break from the routine if you can at all. I am craving a quiet house in the West of Ireland with a view and no TV, a place amongst the stones and sea, a place to ground, re-group and read. With music and Guinness. No radio. No news. I feel my focus would be re-booted there. Brought back to life. Resuscitated somewhat.

The greatest gift you can give anyone is your time - listening and really hearing someone by giving your full attention is the ultimate generosity, for what it says is, ‘I see you, I am here for you’.

I think it’s time to gift our own attention back to ourselves. Just think about it.